NDUBI: Fire on one end, a ‘fool’ on the other – a smoker’s delusion


NDUBI: Fire on one end, a 'fool' on the other - a smoker's delusion

The smoking fraternity is more than offended by the newest legislation that seeks to further harm an otherwise bumpy lifestyle.

I mean, do all these people realize that smoking is not some pastime engagement but a quite respectable way of life?

Only recently the government introduced a very callous requirement for manufacturers to brand cigarette packs with an array of grotesque images.

Imagine carrying a pack of your favorite brand and before you start puffing away graciously, you are confronted by a glaring close-up of a gringo in severe gum rot! But why?

Let’s take a moment and think about the welfare of smokers: do they have rights? Over the years they have been pushed and shoved around, relegated to poorly ventilated smoking zones and threatened with fines in watering holes they frequent. Even the proprietors who maliciously decide not to allocate smoker-friendly zones are not on their side, despite their willingness to sell the commodity.

This minority group has been forced to huddle together in these trying times, fingers crossed as their closest and only true friend fights the battle of their life in court.

At work, smokers could easily form a club, they recognize each other as Akorinos would through their turbans. If a new smoker is hired, they rejoice; maybe they can finally lobby for a ‘smoking break’ in addition to lunch and tea breaks.

The biggest hurdle right now to any smoker is the looming restriction of smoking hours to between 6pm and 6am… Outrageous!

While smoke-buddies I know are finding a way to escape the offending images on cigarette packets, the former will be a serious affront to the well-preserved lifestyle of a career smoker.

In the run-up to the implementation of the ‘Pictorial health warnings’, wise members of this marginalized citizenry hoarded a couple of packs and now ‘refill’ is a term that will gain popularity in the coming months. In fact, a whole new opportunity is emerging for entrepreneurs who can manufacture ‘refillable cigarette-preserving devices’ that carry encouraging messages; something like ‘Quitters never win!’

The Mututho-like law is impractical for anyone who cares to understand the dynamics of mistakes. Unlike food which can be taken at regular intervals or alcohol which is absolutely unnecessary, you cannot restrict smoking to certain hours. It is impossible!

Smoking happens on a needs-basis; whatever led one to board this devotion train can be best described as ‘spontaneous’. You do not need a timetable to follow when for instance you need to ‘calm your nerves’ get that motivation to wrap up a creative project.

But if the inevitable happens an entire generation of devotees is faced with the ‘quit’ nightmare. With all the obvious benefits tobacco has entitled smokers to over the years, is it conceivable that one would settle for maybe just caffeine?

It is time for smokers to stand up for their rights since a jealously guarded lifestyle is about to be wiped into non-existence.

And with it, losses in billions for health institutions in foreseeable revenues from tobacco-related treatments.

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Story By Eric Ndubi
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