OPINION: Parents to blame for university girls leading secret lives
The killing of university students (ladies in particular) in Kenya is becoming a common occurrence that is no longer raising many eyebrows.
Drugs, illicit sex and the sponsor issue is really rampant. And when you ask them in class, they openly tell you maisha ya kuhustle si yangu.
They want to live a good life and get lots of money at a young age. Also Read: Sex and the sugar daddy
As university dons, we believe that in 90percent of these cases, parenting is to blame. Note that this has also got to do with the missing marks which affect most of the female students.
The excuses have always been “sex for the marks” or “the lecturer wanted sexual favors” or something else.
Smart ladies have realised that parents are quick to buy these lines not knowing that the they are more often than not choreographed. They invoke instant sympathy (who cannot trust his/her child).
As parents, we seem to emphasise and push our children for the national examinations: KCPE and KCSE.
Also Read: Missing JKUAT student found murdered
When they are admitted to university, we assume that they are now grownups and therefore can make the best decisions regarding their lives like we did our times not knowing that things have since changed.
The students have perfected the art of double life: at home, they are the cutest angels, the dearest especially to the dads (fee-paying agents) portraying the image of people in total control of their lives.
However, on campus, the girls are daredevils spitting fire from smoking and snotting all manner of things financed by the sponsor aka sponyos who care less about the fate of this young one (rotten society fabric).
The men are only interested in their egos being massaged to manage their failing health and to keep prostrates and heart seizures at bay.
On a coin flip, the ladies are willing to do anything to get that dime to sponsor the orgy parties, drinking sprees, beach trips, iPhone, iPads, trendy wardrobes and the occasional trips outside the country (social media to blame).
The innocent girl you drop to the university in a village choir suit will not be the same girl you will attend the graduation if you will be lucky to grace one.
In all the cases we have handled, the fathers seem to have lost touch with their children.
The mothers on the other hand always have a clue as to what is going on but probably decide to hide it from their husbands for whatever reason (conspiracy-may stop paying fees).
The advice we can give to parents is that times have changed, we have to get more involved with our sons and daughters.
Paying school fees is no longer enough! We need to get to know what is happening in their academic life and an occasional visit to the university registrar can give you some clues as to what is happening (note the students does not need to be aware).
Retakes, supplementally exams, special exams or missing marks, semester repeats are all red flags that you need to follow up lest he/she arrives in a coffin to say the least.
May God help us and protect our children.
This piece was written by concerned lecturers from different universities in Kenya.
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