Five steps to being truly happy

I came across a video uploaded on YouTube of Bishop TD Jakes by Steve Harvey.

In the video, Bishop Jakes explained that he has five steps that if followed by anyone anywhere they can lead to true happiness.

Of course I was skeptical at first, how can anything said by an old religious rich man from America possibly apply to my happiness – a middle-class, working-class Kenyan woman who believes in God but is not strictly religious?

However, my skepticism was erased shortly after I heard what he had to say.

Below are the five steps to being truly happy as outlined by Bishop TD Jakes.

1. Make your own happiness

You are the only person that can make yourself happy. Your children will not make you happy, a new house or car will not make you happy.

“Take it away from other people demanding that they make you happy,” he said.

“Be responsible of doing things that bring joy into your own heart by doing those things that make you happy independent of life, people and money and other things that don’t necessarily bring you happiness. You have to take responsibility of that peace and joy that lives inside of your heart and not inside of your things,” he said.

2. Challenge your own story

The wise bishop told Steve Harvey that people need to challenge the narrative they have about themselves.

“People torment themselves about how they see their lives. They have told themselves a story as if it were the truth when it is really a perspective truth that they beat themselves to death with,” he said.

“Change the way you talk to yourself about the way you are and what happened to you and what you’re going to do with your life. You wrote the script, change the story.”

3. Enjoy the journey, not the destination

Bishop Jakes told viewers that another key to happiness is to enjoy the journey they are taking instead of waiting to reach the destination for them to be happy.

“Enjoy the whole process, everyday that you get up to strive for everything that you’re after. You don’t celebrate when you get to the finish line, celebrate all along the way,” he said.

“Put yourself on your own calendar because you need your own attention too. If you don’t see yourself as valuable, nobody else will.”

4. Make relationships count

He said the most important things in the world are relationships; everything is about relationships.

He emphasized on a relationship with God, saying: “As long as you know that there is somebody in charge, you don’t have to bear the brunt of the responsibilities and the weight of what is going on in your life, you can talk to the boss.”

The second relationship he emphasized on was a relationship with yourself saying: “If you don’t like you, it makes it hard for me to like you.”

“Enjoy your relationship with yourself and when people come around you they join a party you already started,” he said.

He added that nature teaches us that there is no fruit without a relationship. On relationships with others, he said: “You cannot be fruitful by yourself in business, in the home, in life, in the Church, in anything; you are no more that the relationships you surround yourself with so make sure they’re the good ones.”

5. Balance work with play

You have to balance the two because you cannot do only one and be successful, he said.

“If you work really hard and are a diligent person, make sure you do some play to balance it out.”

“If you play really hard but you don’t work, it’s going to be really fun but you’re going to be hungry.”

“You have to balance that with your children as well, don’t be too strict at all times.”

“Balancing work and play causes not only you to be holistic but for people to get a better perspective of who you are,” he said.