The pain of pimples: What I went through to restore my skin

The pain of pimples: What I went through to restore my skin

Pain, pain and more pain. Have you ever been in fierce, destructive, excruciating pain while you’re still walking, panting for breath as your heart and mind are losing a battle you’ve never known?

I would like to share with you my story of fighting a public battle in private, what the pain was and what caused it so that those who might be going through it or something similar can know that there’s hope and they can overcome.

As we all know for ladies a few pimples are normal on some days of the month, but what do you do when a few become many, and days turn to months and months to years of pain and suffering, with not just an ailing face but a sick mind.

This was a journey that took me to unknown places with thousands questions of: why me, how, when will this bad joke end?

The huge pimples on my neck and my face were growing and reddening by the day. When I was quiet, I could feel them pulsating, it was impossible to sleep on my side as the pimples would get attached to the pillow. Waking up in the morning was the worst part of it all.

I suffered heat waves; it felt like my heart was beating underneath the skin of my face.

I would at times get ice cubes and place them on a clean cloth and hold it to my face to cool down the pulsating pimples on my face.

Those were the days I would tell myself, “Maggie if only it was possible to remove this face and leave it home.”

But if wishes were horses… So I held on to the physical pain. I would cry when no one was watching, but my light complexion would betray me. After a good session of crying, my nose would redden, my ears and cheeks would look flush and no matter what I did to hide it, everyone would know I was just from crying.

I later learnt to laugh at myself instead of crying, but it was not an easy lesson to learn.

The sickness on my face did not spare my mind; I was constantly distressed and anxious.

As if that wasn’t enough, the unsolicited opinions and comments, mostly negative, didn’t make the situation any easier; instead it elevated the breakouts to another level.

Comments like “Wewe ni mrembo sana lakini hiyo uso inakulet down” (You’re so beautiful but your face let’s you down).

Making it even harder for me to leave the house. I will share the things that people in this condition don’t want to hear in another article.

The breakouts made me feel so low and to an extent reclusive.

I had become irritable and impatient with people, but what do you expect when everywhere you turn people make negative and demeaning comments?

I remember this one time I was shopping at a supermarket minding my own business when a certain man who looked like he was in his mid 50s walked towards me smiling, since I did not know him I looked behind me to see if there was anyone behind me.

He then said in Swahili: “Nauza mkorogo na inasaidia hata watu walioharibika uso zaidi ama kiasi chako” The translation should sound interesting (I sell a mixture of lotions that has helped people with similar issues or worse).

That right there dumbfounded me. Here is a man almost my father’s age but all he could see was a business opportunity on my broken face.

Where did compassion and humanity go? He was being entrepreneurial on his commodity, but what about my feelings?

I longed for the good old days when no one felt they had to voice their opinions about my face, when I could walk in and out of places without feeling cautious and feeling people’s eyes on me.

The more I searched for a remedy to my illness, the more I felt lost.

I felt that the painful journey I was on was beyond my control, it was a nightmare from which was never going to wake up.

Now that I am over it, I wish someone had told me about their experience, their lessons and their triumph so that I could have hope. The worst thing about it was the feeling that I was going through it alone.

This is the first article in a series about the battle I fought to restore my skin’s health. My aim is to give someone else strength and help them learn how to overcome.

Next week I will share about what I learned about the support of friends.

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pain of pimples skin illness

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