Obamas romantic letters to girlfriend revealed

In his letters, the future first black president of the US equates Alexandra to a diary and shares with her his most deepest fears and of course, his ‘impractical’ dreams to one day, live by Martin Luther’s words.

In 1984, he said, “My ideas aren’t as crystallized as they were while in school, but they have an immediacy and weight that may be more useful if and when I’m less observer and more participant.”

In his worries, he tells his white girlfriend of his problems with the question of identity when he goes to visit his family back in Indonesia.

“I can’t speak the language well anymore,” he tells his girlfriend. “I’m treated with a mixture of puzzlement, deference and scorn because I’m American, my money and my plane ticket back to the U.S. overriding my blackness. I see old dim roads, rickety homes winding back towards the fields, old routes of mine, routes I no longer have access to,” he writes.

However, the couple broke up in the mid 80s, a break up that was foreseen from the tone in Obama’s letters, which went from cheery to blue with a black ink penning uncertainties of what ifs.

“I think of you often, though I stay confused about my feelings.
It seems we will ever want what we cannot have; that’s what binds us; that’s what keeps us apart,”

Through his moments of melancholy and reveries of what was, Obama describes their summer romance at 20-years-old, filled with, like any other young love, challenges.

“A young black man with his arm behind his head, staring at the ceiling with moist eyes, and a young white woman resting her head on his arm, alone and facing the swirling expanse, outside the room, inside themselves, separate in the eye of the storm,” reads a letter.

The letters, which  have only been recently revealed were archived in Emory University since 2014 under professor Andra Gillispie, the director of Emory’s James Weldon Johnson Institute for the Study of Race and Difference, who is using the letters in an upcoming book about Obama.

Alexandra who married a Serbian boxer was Obama’s first love before Genevieve Cook then finally the one who got the throne, Michelle.