St. Andrews, Turi school menu will make you feel poor

For majority of Kenyans, our school life was largely mundane and we made through life with the most basic of commodities.

Take food, for instance, Githeri was the staple food and when the school decided to “treat” the students, they would just make some rice that resembled ugali and then throw in a piece of meat for effect.

So you can understand the shock and awe that hit Kenyans when a menu said to be of the super high-end school St. Andrew’s, Turi, which is situated in Molo, Nakuru County, started doing rounds on social media. Mind you, this is the The Christmas Term 2016 week 1 Menu for Prep school meaning it was reviewed for 2017 to something much better and more expensive.

No, your parents do not hate you, they just could not afford it and even now, only the 1% of the 1% can afford to take their scions to this five star hotel that masquerades as a school. School fees ranges from Ksh.304,000 to Ksh.730,000 “only”.

There are things in that menu that most of the middle class Kenyans have never heard of nor tasted. But if they have, then you know they Instagram the hell out of it whenever it is put in front of them. Keep your Google tab open because you will use it a lot as you go through the St. Andrew’s, Turi menu.

The children never have the same meal more than once in a week. Everyday they have something different and very expensive. I suspect while the rest of us had cooks in school, these privileged children have chefs.

I doubt your cook would know what Beef bourguignon is. Wait, you also don’t know. While you have a burger as a treat, a child is probably sick and tired of it because of eating it every Sunday.

Monday: For breakfast, they wake up to Fried eggs, grilled tomato, cereals, fresh juice, baked beans and toast. Let’s be honest, most of us pretty much have this but this is when you have been working a few years. Lunch brings with it the joy of Roast chicken with lemon n’ ginger maxim potato, veggie moussaka and chocolate mousse, I know, Mondays are oh so boring. For dinner, Beef lasagna n’ ginger bread, matoke, grilled veggie and of course fruits.

Tuesday: Waffles n’ syrup, Cereals, Baked beans, Berry yoghurt, Fresh Fruits and Toast. Lunch is Fish and chips, paneer kebabs, pineapple crumble with vanilla custard sauce. For supper, the kids have Chinese style Pork fillet served with pasta, Leek n’ potato pie and Fruit salad.

Wednesday: Bacon, Grilled tomato, Cereals, Fresh fruits, Baked beans and Toast. For lunch; Braised beef served with rice
Eggplant n’ cheese frittata and Fruit kebabs. Supper is Turkey tagine served with pita bread, Black bean casserole and fruits.

Thursday: Chipolatas, Grilled tomato, Cereals, Fresh fruits, Baked beans and Toast. Lunch; Chicken drumsticks served with
Lyonnaise potato, Creamy spinach bake and Ice cream. Supper: Beef bourguignon served with chapatti, Mushroom stroganoff and Fruits.

Friday: Pancakes n’ syrup, Cereals, Fresh fruits, Baked beans and Toast. Lunch: Jacket potatoes with various fillings Pavlova. Supper: Grilled chicken with fried rice, Root vegetable, casserole and Fruits.

Saturday: French toast, Cereals, Baked beans, Fresh juice and Toast. Lunch: Meat balls n’ spaghetti with cheese, Bean ragout and Jelly. Dinner: Baked fish with turmeric, fried rice, Dhal masala and fruits.

Sunday: Cereals, Fresh juice, Toast, Baked beans and Tea /coffee. Brunch/Brunch. Supper: Burgers n’ chips, Veggie pizza’s with coleslaw salad and fruits.

There you have it, now go to a corner and weep and if you have children, do not show them this menu or your stress levels will go through the roof.